Category Archives: My Adventures

I Live on the Internet

So I had just written a lengthy post outlining all of the websites that have kept me distracted from doing both my schoolwork and updating my blog. However, it got lost because my internet decided to be uncooperative so I will provide a summarized list of all those sites

  • Ficly
  • Greenzac (youtube vlog)
  • Other Youtube vlogs (Kassem G, Shay Carl)
  • xkcd
  • Legorobotcomics
  • Other Webcomics
  • Thisisphotobomb
  • Failblog
  • failbooking
  • My[Confined]Space
  • BadAstronomy
  • Stupid semi-frequently updated sites (lolcatz, peopleofwalmart, Awkwardfamilyphotos etc.)
  • Friends Blogs
  • Fark

Of course this is not an exhaustive list and I wish I hadn’t been so inter-clumsy as to lose my previous entry. Oh well.

And Olivia is the mutha fuckin shit.

Ficly

I wanna write the stories too!

So I did. It’s kinda fun! Especially when someone adds onto one of yours!

Allow to explain. Ficly.com is a site where people write short stories that are no more than 1000  characters (I think) and then you can write prequels or sequels to those stories!

95% percent of all the stories there are either emo or super-lame fantasy but some are pretty good.

Anyways, long story short, I have found yet another way to stop myself from doing schoolwork.

I are Stupid

Yes, I may be stupid.

I have, on average, no to limited funds at my disposal. Yet it nevers fails that this money tends to go towards very unimportant things. I know I’m not alone in this regard but those other irresponsible folk don’t have to drive a fair bit to get home. What usually happens to me is a spend my money and then realize that I don’t have any money left tot fuel my car and to get home.

I am certainly stupid.

As irresponsible this is, I have good friends out there who pay no heed to my idiotics and are more than willing to allow me to a) not only crash at there house at midnight because I con’t make it home but b) they also lend me money to put a few dollars into my gas tank. This means a lot to me to know there are good folk out there willing to go out on a limb for their friends. I like to think that I wouldn’t hesitate in the least to do the same.

So thanks goes out to all those swell friends of mine who super bad-ass. You make my retardedness a little more bearable.

All the Hipsters Like the Dance Music

My parents got me clothes and shoes for christmas. Im pretty sure that they want me to be a hipster seeing as I got plaid flanel and converse shoes. In the meantime, some Christian Hansen and the Autistics!

I cannot for the life of me remember whether I already shared this delightful music video and i’m far to lazy to click buttons. Nothing wrong with some extra goodness though.

Boxing Day

Yes folks, it’s that time of year again. The time of year people are more than willing to wait in exorbitantly long lineups for deals. Deals so fantastic they cannot be ignored. Deals so good that even I, a lowly university peasant, am willing to brave the swarms of consumerism to make full use of the gift cards I recieved for christmas.

Yes. The mission is dire. I may not survive. But it must be done for the greater good. By nature of my afflicted bank account and need of musical sustenance there is no choice in the matter. The quest weighs heavy upon my soul.

However, with proper preparation, strategy, and a strong sense of will, I shall overcome this trial and successfully navigate the haunted halls of West Edmonton Mall on this Boxing Day.

1. PREPARATION

I will need an extensive checklist of necessary items

  • Gift Cards (Obvious)
  • Pepper Spray
  • +2 Cloak of Wisdom
  • Fire Starter Kit
  • Emergency Blanket
  • Hunting Knife
  • Beef Jerky
  • Bribing Money
  • Crowbar
  • Flares
  • Flash-Bang Grenades
  • Healing Potion
  • Longsword
  • Decoys
  • Detailed Map
  • First-Aid Kit
  • Safety Balnket
  • Multi-Tool
  • Binoculars
  • Orange-Glo
  • Flask

Necessary Part of prepertion in understanding your enemy. During this most heroic venture I will encounter many fell beasts. Some of these abominations are exeplified below.

  • Typical Asshole Customer
  • Disgruntled Employee
  • Mall Security
  • Giant Spiders
  • Mall Rats
  • Children

Using Stealthy and Ninja-like techniques one can learn to deal with any of the above with ease. Utilization of any aforementioned tools in a clever manner ensures success.

2. STRATEGY

Let it be known, that to accomplish my goals at effecient shoppery, I must maintain the offensive and only revert to defensiveness during times of peril and doom. But these situations will hopefully not arise because of the fact I am very well prepared. So I will take the offensive in order to make full use of my time and minimize the length of my stay. I will make full use of my longsword but more for intimidation then direct assault. Of course one cannot tell what measures may be necessary till one is in the fray.

3. Strong sense of will

Some of these shoppers are tenuous folk indeed. So it is up to myself to be tenuoser. Ill have to make full use of all of the following:

  • Wit
  • Charm
  • Charisma
  • Intelligence
  • Awesomeness
  • Ridiculous Good Looks
  • Wisdom
  • Intuitiveness
  • Gut Instincts
  • Superb Reasoning Skills

These of course, are merely a few traits absolutely necessary to defeat the masses. Some of the individuals are wily folk and skilled maneuvering, combat, espionage and survival skills are not enough to defeat them and pesuasion, intimidation and clever thinking are needed to outcraft them at their own game.

Wish me well ladies and gentlemen, as I wade into the putrid waste of North-American consumerism, irresistable deals, and the sweat of the working class…

(note: I wrote this at work and forgot to post so I post it now)

(note: I never did actually get any shopping done…)

What I Happen to be Thinking During the Time this was Written.

I’m thinking about how much i love condiments. and the food that happens to get dipped into said comments (which contains a MASS variety of different foods). anything that is exceptionally delicious should be able to dipped into another delicious substance to be made even more delicious (except, of course, for meals that exceed the rating of 10, yet cannot, because of the fact that it is, indeed, impossible to score because mere humans are not capable of such acts). EG. chicken wings are delicious and that we can all readily agree that there is a variety of substance that it can be dipped into to improve upon the taste factor of the previously said type of food. Unless of course you are a vegetaritan/vegan of course and let it be known I wholeheartedly support those who d0 not eat meat despite that fact that we disagree. Ok, new topic, vegetarians. A lot of people do not eat meat. People are vegetations for a variety of reasons  including, but not exclusively, animal rights, a healthy diet and environmental protectiveness. These are very noble and honorable reasons not to eat meat. So no hating on vegetarians! Anyways, thats that much more meat for me! Yippee! I just got back from the Gibbons Hotel, and let me let you know that they most certainley leave their kegs lying around for days on end in small towns because their beer is flat! Including Gibbons Hotel. Oh well, I had a good time regardless. I met some of my brothers previous compatriarts from high school. It was most entertaining. I got offered-ish a job working cement next summer but I’m not too sure if I want to cuz i wanna travel around again. I want to hitch-hike across Canada and see the land. And including Hunter and Ivan. Especially! So we’ll see what happens. I hate manual labor. Tomorrow is dungeons. Sweet. I’m such a nerd…

Fight.

My brother threw my alarm clock into the woods this morning.

Not happy.