Words I Enjoy Saying

• Pliable
• Morphically
• Lithe
• Western
• Pantomime
• Ambiguous
• Gingko
• Forty-Four
• Tantamount
• Paralytic
• Zenith
• Winch

Farmville

Ok… I can admit it, I have some embarrassing habits and do some embarrassing things. We all do. I think… Anyways, I can admit that yes, I did play farmville, about a couple of months back. Then I got ridiculously frustrated because my stupid strawberries kept dying on me. Then in a fit of anger I deleted it thinking “good riddance”. I still agree with my previous thoughts… Plants vs. Zombies is way better.

Anyways, once I started playing it Max and Tor had to start too. I don’t think that Tor does anymore, but Maxwell is obsessed with this stupid game. I swear he’s on 5 times a day and that he actually keeps a schedule or something. He’s got everything all timed out. He’s even got a direct link to farmville on his desktop. So here’s to making fun of Max.

Here are some recent quotations from Max courtesy of his gf Danae which I proceeded to steal from facebook.

• “lets play farmville”
• “oh, I’m just playing farmville”
• “look at my farm on farmville”
• “look I’m level 30 now”
• “I can plant red wheat now”
• “I have to check my farmville first”

Right.

“Books are for stupid people”

–Maxwell Milligan

On the Subject of Admiring Boogers

Whilst “working” on my homework (AKA perusing FML), I stumbled across a little beaut of an FML that warrants further analysis and discussion. To view the actual FML and all resulting comments – please do your clicking here.

This here was the posted FML:

“Today, I was stuck in traffic on the highway and decided it was the perfect time to pick a humongous booger out of my nose. While carefully examing and admiring it, I failed to notice that the owner of my company was staring at me from the left lane in complete and utter revulsion. FML“

So there does indeed seem to be mixed views upon whether it is acceptable to gaze upon freshly picked boogs or not when clearing the out the bat cave (we all do so don’t even pretend). On one side we have the “prudes” (the submitters boss) who view this as revolting. Such as anniemeece who posted the comment: “Why the hell would you be “examining and admiring it”? That’s just disgusting!”. Or bloodknight who was quoted as saying “Sick. YDI for “examining and admiring” it. I mean come on WTF…”. And on the absolute “not allowed” end of the booger-viewing-spectrum we have individuals such as thesuitman who went so far as to say “FYL indeed. You just found out you’re a psycho, and need help, NOW”.

Now let’s go over to the other camp. We can call these folks the “crudes”. It seems that there are people out there (the submitter for example) who feel that picking and viewing boogers is acceptable and perhaps even enjoyable. There also seems to be consensus amongst the “crudes” that carrying out such an event is best done whilst driving. Kiddnyc10 has exactly such a view and thinks that “it is such a pleasure whenever I remove a huge booger from my nostrils”. jmoose311 believes that “Everyone picks their nose.” and wonders “How else are you going to get the boogers out?”. Then once again, we have people who are so pro-booger-pickin’ that they go so far as to feel that the picking and admiring process is not enough. They believe that instead of “flicking away” being the third step of nose pickery, one should actually eat the picked booger. Now this is obviously a very extreme viewpoint. Like anarchism. But these people are out there. MiniatureMayhem believes “Boogers are good for you. They strengthen your immune system or something.”. Plexico holds booger eating in such high regard that he doesn’t believe that the boss in the submitted FML was apart of the “prudes”, but is actually such a “crude” that “He probably thought you were going to hog that beauty all to yourself.”

Clearly, if people were to vote on admiring mucus extracted from the nostrils, there would be at least one recount. There is also more than likely a gender division on such a topic. Males are much more likely to admire boogers than females. Personally, I would argue that yes, a significant number of people do pick their noses. Also I would argue that those who do pick their noses would do so in a car that they are driving, more than likely while driving alone. As I’ve stated above, pretty much everyone at least picks their nose. So it can be concluded that most people do in fact pick their noses whilst driving probably due to the fact that there’s nothing better to do and the fact that driving creates an illusion of privacy. This is not the prevailing issue at hand however. The issue is focusing upon what is to be done with the booger immediately after completing the act. As a recap, There are those who believe booger admiration is a sign of mental instability (these individuals probably also claim that they do not pick their noses ever as well), those who believe that this act is absolutely revolting, those who think that it’s a matter to be done while completely alone, those who believe that public picking is all right but not the act of admiration (advocates of the “pick, roll and flick” philosophy), those who openly admit that they do in fact pick their noses and proceed to admire their work and those who choose to indulge on their freshly picked booger after a healthy dose of admiration.

Where do you stand? Where do I stand? What should the norm be? Do you feel that we should be able to pick and admire freely and openly yet find yourself suppressing this urge due to social pressures? Personally, I know that I have been known to enjoy digging out a well crusted stalactite off out of my nose. I do think that nostrils are indeed the perfect size fingers. I also believe that all five of our fingers have different nose picking purposes. I also firmly believe that a drive pick is as natural as sleeping in the nude (also a controversial topic). On top of all that, I do believe that in the case of a colossal nose goblin, one should most definitely gaze upon what you have crafted. I am an understanding individual and know that some people are in fact utterly revolted by the act. So I take measures to have compassion for these people so there are a few rules I follow… 1) NEVER EAT IT! Obviously this is nasty nasty. Your nose is full of gross stuff and they taste icky anyways. 2) If you do feel the urge to dig in behind the wheel, do so while in transit. Diving in while at a stop light is just asking for trouble. 3) avoid picking whilst in the company of others. Unless, of course, you have had a discussion on the topic and all feel comfortable with being in the company of some one who does indulge.

Please feel free to discuss.

/approves

Ah Rebecca…

“Show me your nipple right NOW!”

“That’s Karma biting you right in the asshole!”

“Are you joking at me?!”

She’s got herself some worditude that one does.